Even as a little girl, I must have known a marriage is much different from a wedding.

me

Ask anyone who knew me as a kid and they will tell you I was a girly girl. In spite of my tiny, flowery outfits and my love of Disney fairytale movies, I don’t ever recall being the kind of little girl who dreamed of her perfect wedding from the dress down to the flowers. That just wasn’t, and still isn’t, my style. Perhaps that is because the most influential couple in my life didn’t do it big. After 8 months of dating and my dad’s suggestion rather than a proposal, my parents got married on October 3, 1980, in the Los Angeles County Courthouse. According to my mom, it seemed like the next thing to do. Now, 32 years later, they are still happily married with 3 grown-up kids and 1 granddaughter. Even as a little girl, I must have known a marriage is much different from a wedding.

My parents did not mull over any details. My dad applied for the marriage license. My mom wore a dress in her closet that she never used. There were 8 guests and afterwards they went to a famous Filipino restaurant of that time to eat and celebrate. They brought a camera with them to make sure they had keepsakes of the day and my mom even laid out both my dad’s and her outfits on a bed for that traditional shot, but it didn’t dawn on them to take a post-ceremony picture of just them two. Fortunately, there was an amateur photographer outside the courthouse who asked to take their picture. She didn’t charge them anything, but was sweet enough to mail them the 8×10 photograph. To this day, my parents have no idea who the photographer was. You can say I haven’t dreamt big about my impending wedding because my parents did it in the most simple way, but I see it quite the opposite.

I don’t deny taking notes from my parents’ playbook. In fact, Josh and I still want to go to the courthouse! But every time we see pictures of the Wayfarers Chapel, we feel the same exact way we did when we initially visited — “THIS is it.” We have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by such supportive family and friends that we couldn’t imagine them not being a part of our joint happiness. Just those two details have been the defining aspects of what we want of 12/12/12. Everything else is just the cherry on top. But there has always been something that tops the list and it was to have the most stunning pictures to immortalize the day. And believe you me, I landed exactly the photographer I wanted. Beyond that, I have just upped my parents’ big day by a notch.

It just seemed like the next thing to do.

judy ferrer tolentino

If you ask my mom, she will tell you she never really made an over-thought decision when it came to her and her family’s lives. “It just seemed like the next thing to do,” she says. My life with Josh has always seemed to be that way. And although there are things I want for the big day, there is nothing more important to us than a loyal and honest relationship, and a loving and laughter-filled marriage.